In California-------------------------In Texas
Diverse or Lifestyle Choice---Sinful and Perverted
Arsenal of Weapons------------Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands----------------Swamp
Undocumented Worker----------------Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials----------------Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery----------------Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed----------------Well-protected
Narrow-minded----------------Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share----------------Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control----------------Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives----------------Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass----------------Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity----------------Socialism
Multicultural Community----------------High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress----------------Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich"----------------Self-Employed
Progressive, Change----------------Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged----------------Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle----------------Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future----------------Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform----------------Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater----------------Conservative
Truants----------------Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed----------------Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine----------------Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot----------------Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves----------------Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee----------------Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"----------------Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby----------------NRA Members
Assault Weapon----------------Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus----------------New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage----------------Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting----------------Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs