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 I don't know where to start..... 
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Post I don't know where to start.....
...I guess it was in the early 2000's and we were young and full of ideas and energy. Mmayes had just gotten out of the navy after his experimental work on nuclear submarines. He still has the world record for longest time submerged by a naval officer. He spent a little over six and a half years underwater in the late nineties and retired with full benefits after to service tours and several decorations. He was writing code for the navy and did some contract computerized throttle control programming for toyota too as he wiled away his time. He said it really went by fast even though his only other entertainment consisted of a rubics cube and two live Allman Brothers cd's. Apparently Toyota loved the fact that he was isolated on a sub because whatever project he was working on was top secret and had something to do with a dual gas-electric gizmo they were working on to please the green crowd that had gained a lot of influence with the Clinton administration.

We were sittin out by his shop one day playing this stupid bean bag game that he made up having a Sam Adams when he let me in on project "x". It seems like back then we were killing lots of ducks and things were not nearly as stressful as they are these days. I had a 23 hp go-devil and we felt like we were hell on wheels bustin around the stumps in the lower Aintry swamp. But try as we might we couldn't penetrate the upper Aintry Basin............it was just to tough, a stumpy minefiedl choked with downed trees and phragmite stands and gangs of cottonmouths. The only thing we really knew about the middle of the basin is that it was full of two things we loved: ducks and frogs.
There was a lot of banter back and forth about Go-devil and Mudbuddy about who was first and best and sealed bearings and patent suits and the fairly new world wide web was full of speculation and rumors. We were standin there lookin at a dudes cousins' mudbuddy (watercooled kawasaki) that they had brought in for me to weld on. Mayes looked at it long and hard without sayin anything.

He got a weird glint in his eye,took a sip of Sam and a long pull off the marlboro menthol one hundred. His face lit up and he smiled. He took off his hat and ran his fingers thru his hair while he exhaled the smoke through the gap in his teeth and grunted," go to the trailer and get Black Willy and little Joe. (don't confuse little joe with big joe.....big joe is the one we call "shreck" but not to his face).

Black Willie and Little Joe got there and we had the whole thing apart in about 15 minutes ,Mmayes standin to the side scribbleing the whole time.He mumble something about workboats and heavy duty shafts but we couldn't really hear him. It was gettin dark and we lit the barrel and made some pork steaks.

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:41 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
This is what everyone has waited so long to hear.

Please continue.

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:51 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
several days later Mmayes walks into the barn while I'm feedin the chickens and says," you want to help me on somethin?"
I say, "well sure Mmayes what do ya got in mind?"
Mmayes took a big dip of copenhagen and spits on the ground and says," It's called project "x" and we can make a mint and get to the Basin if we can keep it away from that phugger in Utah"

I said, "Utah? what the hell is in Utah? It's all mountanis and Mormons and wagon train shit ain't it?"
He says ,"nope .....do you remember that butthole captain from Chicago I told you about on my sub? Cartain Emanuel......That tried to control everything?...........well he has a short second cousin in Utah named ***** that builds them muddbuddy's and claims he invented mud motors and that Coco stoled his invention. "
I hadn't ever been involved in nothin like that but it sounded fun.

First thing we did was take a front end loader and push all the scrapped carbodies in a cicrle around the trailer and barn ane kin of formed a privacy fence. Then we got to work with the torch and the ballpen and Mmayes went to a barge shop in Paducah and bought a couple welders and a flat of aluminum sheeting and some square tube and flat stock.


to be continued......................................

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:56 pm
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:58 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
This is gonna be a good read!

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:16 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
like a kid waiting for present, do tell

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:18 pm
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:22 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
This is gunna be a good one. Can't wait.


Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:33 pm
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:35 pm
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:38 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Period.

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:38 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
. :mrgreen:

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:44 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Hey cutt down... Is B.M. on the fruit punch?

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Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:23 pm
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:19 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
If he aint on tha punch, he should be.... But i'm all ears...
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Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:24 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
the suspens is killin me

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:20 am
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Fri Mar 12, 2010 6:06 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
........Anyway, we rounded up a bunch of goods and started to work. Mmayes is some kind of perfectionist so we had to re-do a lot of stuff till we got it right. We had a neat little rig put together that went well in the open mud and veggies but the stumps would kill us. Shear pins were definatley not the answer . We were carryin an ammo can full of shear pins with us evertime we went out. I can't say too much but we were running on power that Mmayes had worked with for the Japanese. It was a little low on torque but had awesome top end. The big problems started when we scrapped the shearpin technology and started to work on a clutch. Mmayes said we could accomplish tow things with the clutch.....we would have a neutral and we would have a give point between prop and drive. Both were good points and he started drawing on the clutch.

In the mean time me and little Joe had been hosting a craps game every thursday night in the barn down at Aintry. We were raking the pot and the crowd was good so we had a good thing going. Then one night Curtis and his boys showed up from Memphis. Those guys came in and hit every point for 4 hours. Then they left. After they were gone we found OUR dice over in the corner and knew we'd been had. Little Joe said he'd seen the little Italian one makin funny faces at Curtis but he only had one eye and he didn't want to say anything.

Mmayes said he knew some boys from Memphis that could help us out so the next weekend we loaded up in Jackies suburban and headed out. It was summertime and we rolled down the windows to feel the damp night air and drown out Mmayes as he sang every Allman brothers tune that he could think of by memory. It was surreal blastin through the hummid west kentucky west tennessee summer night down the back roads and past the swamplands dodging possums and turtles all the way and fueled on caffine ,nicotine and huge need for revenge.

...............to be continued

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:15 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
SUBSCRIBED!

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:41 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
5 hunnert for the movie rights.

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:43 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
I know where this is going.

At this pace it's gunna be a 10-pager, and it's going go take a while to tell the whole story!


Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:58 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Yep.

He's a story teller. :lol:

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:00 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
WORD!

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:00 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Aight, Just poured me a whiskey and 7.

Just like the good Ole' dayz

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Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:44 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
definitely brings back memories.


Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:00 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
.................So we get to Memphis about sunrise and it is already hot and the air is thick. The street sweepers are cleaning up from another night of Beal street and there are a few drunks or junkies staggerin around but for the most part it is peaceful and calm. We found a greasy spoon and ordered bisquits and gravy with fried eggs and gritts. It was a nice break to be in a big city tucked in a diner reading the newspaper. The coffee was bad though. I would have swore that they had dosed it up heavy with chickory which was common thruout the south back during the war(the big one.....when the north invaded the south). Jackie is kind of loud and he said somethin about the coffee being pitiful and the little colored girl that was serving us said,"if you doan like what we got ,then hike yo azz on up to da corner and get yo-self a latte at the starbucks". Me and jackie looked at her and in Unison said,"starbucks????? what in the world is starbucks?" she said ,"Its a fancy coffee shop that whips up some fancy dranks wiff cream and care-A-mell an simmm-o-miimm an all kinda stuff that theese city white folks be ooglin about.................some days they lined up out de door.. I went there one time to see what the fuss was and it just look to me like they puttin milk in the coffee wit a milkshake machine"

Mmayes head snapped around quickly and he stared out the window like a crow lookin at a shiny button."where is it at?", he said. She pointed and he rose and dropped a few bills on the table as he left ,never taking his eyes off the corner.

We were behind him and got there right about the time he took his first sipp.Mmayes had a few passions in his life besides inventing,gambling,duck hunting and exotic travel. One of his longtime passions had always been coffee. His parents had been missionaries in central and south America when he was growin up and a lot of his early years were in coffeee country. He was fluent in spanish,portugeese,and coffee beans. There were even rumors floating around that when he was a kid he had once ridden and washed the donkey of Juan Valdez without permission.

I didn't see what they had put in it but when he took the first sip his eyes glazed over like he was in a trance. He leaned back and took a deeeeeeep breath thru his nose and smiled a huge smile that really exposed the gap in his front teeth and we could even see the dice looking gold crowns he had on his second and third molars. It was a big smile. My memory is kind of blurry but I remember that little store to have been really comfortable with good music playin. The smells of all the different beans that were being ground had blended together into a distinct and overhelming caffinated aroma that stimulated all the senses. Mmayes took another sip and very calm and seriously said," that is some good shit , I'm gonna have to check this place out"

We didn't know it at the time but he had some connections and actually owned a small place in Guatamaula that produces a fair amount of specialty hybrid beans but that is another story........................................................to be continued

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Sat Mar 13, 2010 7:34 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
I am now reading this to my wife.

We're both still laughin!

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Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:00 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Yall all payin attention I hope.


Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:37 am
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Hmmm --- I think this thread is goin to answer alot of my questions that I didnt know who to ask. :geek:


Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:53 pm
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Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:00 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
i caint stop looking at the guy in the avatar while reading this!!

tuned in though ;)


Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:16 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
Ah Hell...I came off Bourbon street and there's no update?!!!!

I WANT A B.M.!!!!!














Yes , i said it that way...
Woody

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Sat Mar 13, 2010 9:19 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
..............So we are in downtown Memphis and lookin for Curtis and the italian with one eye. It's hot and Mmayes has a double mocha latte buzz that he is trying to nurse into an all day afffair. I never liked anything but coffee in my coffee but he seems to get an extra surge out of all that sugar and other stuff. After a while of searchin we end up on Mud Island at a fake riverboat display because we followed a short guy with an eye patch. He turned out to be a kid and not the italalin after all but since we were there we went ahead and took the tour.

While we were walkin around Jackie overheard something about Ducks Unlimited and that they were having a show or festival or something out at the old fairgrounds and Mmayes thought maybe we should stake that place out.

Man, were they ever havin a festival....it was like DU-disney world. They had shotgun booths and decoy carvers and four wheel drives and everything you could imagine and lots and lots of dudes walkin around in camouflage shirts with ducks on the pocket. It was quite a show and we had never seen anything like it.Mmayes was staarting to crave more sugar so we decided our best stakeout bet would be centrally located funnel cake booth. We gave the two college kids workin it 30 bucks a peice for a quick funnell cake lesson and told them to get lost.

As luck would have it after the first 15 minute binge of all the funnell cake and ice cream we could hold, we happened to look up and notice that we were right beside a booth for some good old coonass boys from somewhere in Louisiana that had some kind of mudmotor but it didn't look anything like what we knew of. As a matter of fact when one of them named "Peck" came over for cake Mmayes was jokin with him if we could use "that crazy lookin contraption like a blender to help whip up our batter" , he just laughed and took it in good nature. He even told us to come by later and he'd show us all about what he was callin a "surface drive". Mmayes was beside himself........all the sugar in his system had him keyed up and this glimpse of new technology had his mind racing. His eyes were wide open and he was chain smoking and babbleing incessantly about "the genius....the genious of it's simplicity......those boys are gonna make a mint......an absolute mint." He rasied a powder sugar and flour coated hand to his mouth and pinched the marlboro one hundred ,"we got to keep an eye on these boys because someone will try to steal it....someone will try to roll them."as he slowly relesed the smoke from his lungs.............................................................................................................................

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Sun Mar 14, 2010 5:54 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
...............We didn't have to wait long. I mean within twenty minutes we see a funny lookin little guy walk by . He caught the smell of our funnel cakes and came right in like a green fly comes to some fresh dung. He was a funny little guy with a mudbuddy collared shirt with shorts and hiking boots and I'll never forget that he wanted extra sugar on his cake and acted real put out that we didn't have any strawberry syrup for it. The whole time he was ordering he seemed pre-occupied with the pro-drive guys and kept looking at their booth and seemed to be counting how many people were around checking it out.

Anyway he walked away eating his funnel cake and not long....maybe ten minutes later he came back by and was wearin a diferent shirt. Something generic like a d.U. shirt with a dog on it or something and Jackie yells at him,"Hey there little guy...did you spill somethin on your pretty muddbuddy shirt and momma make you go change it!" and we all laughed. He didn't laugh though. He flipped us the bird and kind of looked around then eased over to the pro-drive booth. He was all over them. Asking questions and taking pictures and laughing and joking and just hanging around.

Mmayes said he knew what was goin on . He said it will all make sense soon. So he waited till the little guy was gone and had a short talk with them guys and came back to our booth. We cleaned up the funnel cake stand and got ready to check out the rest of the show. Mmayes said we just need to hang out and be cool for a while. He said to forget about Curtis and the italian for now because this could end up being a lot more important.
Jackie had slipped in a big flask of gin so we dosed up some fresh squeezed lemonade shake ups and spent the rest of the day on the trap range havin a big time.

..............to be continued.

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Sun Mar 14, 2010 6:08 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
bm your sheite is off the hook! keep typin


Sun Mar 14, 2010 6:20 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
was the little guy cuttdown? just a question... this is starting to make sense...

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Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:40 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
I dont think I have ever been so interested in reading whats happening next. YOU GOT ME HOOKED :D :D


Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:44 pm
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Post Re: I don't know where to start.....
:)


Sun Mar 14, 2010 8:59 pm
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