BK... This is priceless!... Keep up the good story!

......after the show in Memphis we were all a little energized. Mmayes was kind of on a tangent trying to hook up with a coffee connection and I spent several hours on the phone trying to get on the list for a pro-drive even though you had to have good credit just to get a number in line.I went down to Mr. Big's office down on main street and vowed my winston fly rod (8' #4weight) and my grandpa's old winchester duck gun. Mr Big even made me get it stamped by the notary because he had no clue what a surface drive was or even what a pro-drive could do. He gave me the money though and I got on the list.......# 28.

Mmayes had been talkin with a dude named Mr Chao from somewhere in southeast Asian and had worked a sideways deal that involved pork belly futures ,some petite syrah (red wine) , and some massey furgeson tractor parts. He is a genius inventor but anyone that knows him knows that his real skill is that of an artful trade. He has huge nuts when it comes to trade proposals and Tyrone and his gang of thugs always said that the nuts is what makes a real gambler. Mmayes just can't loose because he is always taking it to a higher level. He will make you laugh until you realize he ain't jokin..................then he works his magic. He can make most folks nervous just by smokin a cigarette or swirlin the ice around in an empty cocktail glass ...............it is an art form.

Mr. Chao wanted the tractor parts and he needed them quick. We met up with him in Thailand in an accupuncture clinic where they were serving raw octopus and squid legs on some kind of rice cracker. I passed on the food and spent the entire meal sipping on some kind of rice liquor that tasted like rotten bannanas . Mmayes went along with the whole gig and at one point looked like a porcupine with needles comming out of his lips and his forehead.....he chewed on them squids for an hour or so talkin with his hands and smiling at Mr.Chao who looked like if the stuck him one more time he would deflate like a kids balloon.

Mr.Chao got tired and waved us off. Mmayes told the cab driver to get us to the airport......in a hurry. I said ,"Mmayes , whats the freakin deal? I was wantin to go to the cockfight tonight and maybe cruise the town" He gave me a stern look and replied,"you will have time for that later but right now we got to get the MF parts............it's that important."

Next thing I know I'm in Sandusky, Ohio hanging out at the flea market trading all kinds of crazy stuff for Massey ferg parts. I traded one old farmer a Kyle Petty nascar helmet for two three point hitch assemblies and a twentyfive row soybean combine head. It was freakin crazy the stuff we were doing. I was living in a rental farm house and eating with the German farmers every night trying to find leads on the old stuff that we were turning into gold. Mmayes had a freight company that would load our stuff on barges up on lake Erie and we paid them with barrels of Yengling beer that Mmayes had gotten by trading six empty grain barges that his cousin Scooter had salveged up near davenport Iowa after the big river floods in the mid 90's.....................................................

...............One night while we were workin out all theese trades I had invited Scooter up to one of our card games. Now Scooter was from Mississippi and had very different values than some of them german farmers from Sandusky, Ohio. I didn't think it would be a big deal or nothing because once Mmayes had paid him for them slavaged barges he was all smiles and had money to burn and as you could imagine he just didn't have too many worries.
Well, the Germans had been having a hard time cause beans and corn had been pretty spotty in the market the last couple years and with the ups and downs and the funky weather most of the conservative types fairly well lost their asses in the futures market and the guys with nothin to loose (the black and irish farmers) seemed to really prosper. You propably guessed it but Scooter O'brien was of old Mississippi Irish sharecropper stock and if you couldn't see him talkin you would bet your life that he was a man of color.
The card game went something like this :
Scooter lost the first three hands and in good nature laughed and shucked it off......callin his fellow players blockheads and Jerry-schmidts and a few other anti-germanic names but it was all in good fun until the fourth hand when Scooter got two aces in his hand and two more on the board. He started talking smack like a Mississippi boy will do and the Germans thought he was just talkin shit so they kept bettin.....................then Scooters Austrailin shepard-chesapeke retreiver cross, jew-jew lifted his legg and let out a long slow puff of toxic gas.......it was repulsive ! The sulfur fumes hung in the air for a long time and the Germans went off.....they laughed and cried and gagged and laughed some more and then one of them said it. In that distinct Ohio yankee accent he said," git that fffing MUTT outta here!"

Scooter was a gentleman and said,"what the **** did you just say bruther?"
Of course the ole farmer didn't understand and he says," that gawdang mutt just shiat in the air and I want his lowsey azz outta here"

Scooter freaked. I mean he really freaked. first thing he did was rake all the money off the table...................then he started cussin and punchin and kickin. When the smoke cleared there were three german farmers knocked out and one in the corner with jew-jew attached to his upper thigh. Scooter stuffed the paper money in his pocket and said," come on jew-jew lets get out of this funky-ass place" and they both left ...but the Germans were mad.

I had to goet back to Aintry and lay low for a while. Scooter and Jew-jew went to Arkansas for a month or so and then I heard they joined the merchant marine and worked a drag from Mobile to St pete and were lookin for a shorter oilfield route. ................................so I was back at Aintry and life there was good and peaceful for a while............................................................................................................

Please don't stop

Gotta say that I don't post much, but this definately warrants one!! This is the most interesting topic I have seen in a long time. I found myself checking all day to see if you continued the tale. More Please . I was laughing my azz of on the last one .

all of u laughin n lurkin.. this aint no tale.. this is all real.. yall are fixn to learn a lil bit..

subscribed

I think this has to be THE most intriguing thread I have read on any board LOL

Wow!!!! This is better then...To Kill A Mockingbird or Charlotte's Web..

need my daily fix

AND ~ Ya'lls made it back to Antry fo sum relaxin' .......


COME ON WITH IT !!!!!! WHATS NEXT ???????

just get an i-phone.. problem solved! lol

this post is very interesting. I hope it helps to tie up some loose ends together for me lol

...............So I get back to Aintry and things are real cool. I got the soybeans put in the ground that spring despite the fact that the local hoodlums kept Borrowing my tractor to steal anhydrous tanks around the county. I finally just left a note in the cab for them to fill it back up with fuel and park it where they found it. The only problem with that was one of them must have stole a load of soy-diesel and filled her up. I never run that stuff because it will clean all the corruption and bacteria out of your standard diesel tanks and fill your fuel filters with all kinds of junk. I sputtered thru the spring planting and then drained the tank and had Black Willie hook his compressor up to the system and give it a good weeklong breather.

Once we got the old tractor squarred away we started back on project "x". We were having some troubles with components and Mmayes was in and out because he had gotten mixed up in a deal where he was sellin the instant coffee packs to the company that was shippin the M.R.Es to the soliders in Iraq. He had a little coffee brand called" boogers best" and it really was some good coffee. Only problem was he put a picture of G. Foreman on the package and that not only freaked out all of the soliders beacause it scared them but starbucks (who had been fairly tolerent of the similarity in name with their off-brand"seattles best" ) was highly offended by the add slogan that went along with glens picture-----(i thought it was ingenious and would like to take credit for it , but that belongs to Black Willies nephew D'wananthony) " some seriously good taste from one ugly mug". Starbucks threatened to sue because of G's picture and the corelation that it might draw to their brand.......in one of the pre-trial conferences I heard one of their big time Chicago Lawyers say," That ugly mofo....not only stains the image of boogers best and seatles best but the reputation of all coffee in general thuoghout the world."

And that was that . They made Mmayes quit packin the coffee in the Mre's. so he had to trade his coffee operation for a lemon and avocada plantation in Honduras. We got a little revenge though when we started a rumor with one of Tyrones old friends at the washington post that Starrbucks was anti war and wouldn't serve soliders in uniform in any of their stores. It went viral and there were many protests at their stores across the country and they were the target of several nasty chain e-mails...we would read those emails while we were sittin around in the barn at Aintry drinkin lemonade-shakem-ups and eatin fresh guacomle brainstormin on project "x"............................................................................

......Now you got to know that during this time frame the mud motor wars were raging on the internet and the duckhunters refuge or "the fuge" was more or less ground zero. Everyone(go-devil,mudbuddy,beavertail,and to a certain degree but not so much yet pro-drive) had pretty good representation and the mudbuddy groupies did farily well represent their idol and leader. Not only did they continue to spout the famous lines but they quite often came up with equally ignorant and museful ramblings as the great little one. We kept up with what was going on and were always anxious for any new ideas or technology.

Then one day the pro-drive guys called and said that my number was up and they had a motor for me. Everyone was workin and Mmayes was in Peru again so I decided to go it alone. I gassed up the f-150 and headed south. The drive down was a breeze. I had a couple Neil Young and Crazy horse cd's and after it got dark there was plenty of talk on the am side. I rolled into Loureaville about 8 in the morning and found the little old gas station that housed the fledgeling little company. I kind of expected more of a facility but was totally blown away by how normal and just like me everyone there was. I met the dude named Peck that had come to our funnelcake booth in Memphis and Kevin B. and Big Brian and KP and even the old dude that sweeps up. We talked for a while and then we went downtown and had some red beans rice and etouffe that knocked my socks off.
While we were sittin there at the lunch table I was explaining to them how i liked and appreciated their product because me and Mmayes had beeen workin on "x". They had heard of Mmayes(of course who hasn't) but weren't quite sure what we were up to. I kind of scratched out a couple of the different designs we had worked on and when I was sketching the third one they got a real funny look. And then Peck says,"Bri man you got to call Kyle............dude you got to. "
Brian kind of raised his eyebrows and says ok ok and he dials the phone,"Hey Brusawwwwd how you is today? good and maw maw? good hey braw I gots a dude down here you gots to meet up wiff......oh yeah his name is BM cooker-barrel or some stupid shit like that.....naw he's from Kentucky.....yeh and he knows that Mmayes guy...right"

"Ok BM , here are the directions ......you go down there and talk to him....he is straight up"

I didn't know what to expect when i got there but it just looked like any old repair shop I ever had been to. THis big ole strappin dude comes out and shakes my hand and I can tell right away that this is a solid dude. Anyway we talk for a while and he tells me the story of what he did for his school project and I showed him the drawing that i made and we grinned.

Now i got to admit that to this point we had failed to make "x" into anything that we would be proud of. We had made some neat designs but for the most part they were failures...Kyle on the other hand had figured it out. LIke pro-drive he had been patient and worked thru the process and had come up with a hell of an idea and actualy had a great product. He told me that the mudbuddy dude had already come by snoopin....and askin and pryin. Not being from the south he never did catch any of the subtle hints that maybe he should leave until finally he was asked to.

It was a different design but it worked and worked well. At this point in the game there were two units that used surface drive......pd and gt. period.

And this is where the story starts to get real interesting.....................................................................................................................

ahhhh damn you were on a roll.....keep goin.

Dude --- You cant stop the story there AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

you caint stop right here and call it a night

BM cooker barrel

the whole mudmotor world is refreshing their pages every 10 minutes for updates ha


good read....

We need more!!

Did poobah send a hit man???

man you killing me

Got my cold brew and pretzels. Impatiently waiting the next installment.

what the h..?

Come on man, don't leave us hanging!

No B.M. yet? He must still be stopped up over Obrakeawhiteman's Healthcare plan...

THIS REALLY IS SOME GOOD SH!T!!!!!!!!!! I'M IN SAUDI ARABI WAITING ON THE REST OF THE STORY!!!!

B.M....?? ya still there?? c'mon man!

.............So I take my time getting back to Aintry. This was the spring before Katrina and I hadn't been to New Orleans for a while so I went down to Avery Island to make a little deal for Mmayes and did the tobasco tour and after making a deal with them boys for two barge loads of their waste salt (to sale to the highway dept for a nice profit when they get low on their own stuff and have to melt the snow off the roads) and packin the back seat of my pick up with all kinds of crazy varrieties of hot sauce. I pulled over at one of them drive thru daquari stands and got myself a pineapple-coconut creation that got me all the way to the old creeky bridge that crosses the river and dumps you right out in the middle of the sewer they called New Orleans.

After lookin around the N.O. for a little bit I realized there wasn't nothin there for me so I crossed the lake and headed North. I got tired somewhere in Mississippi and decided to pull over and catch some shut-eye. I rolled into a truck-stop about midnight and figured I would go in and take care of business before callin it a night. As I came in the side door to the truck stop I noticed a lot of commotion comming from the back room. It was smoky and loud and an old radio was playin some delta blues. The sounds were familiar and I realized I had stumbled upon a nice little homey game of dice. I reached for my wallett and as I was pulling out my bills to get in the game I looked up and right there in front of me with his hand out and a big stinking cigar protruding from a big shitty grin was a little one-eyed Italian. I quickly stuffed my money in my pocket and reached in the other side to find my blade. His grin faded and his one eye opened wide as he mumbled," you don't want me dude.....your problem is with Curtis" . I grabbed him by the throat and pushed him to the wall and said ," my problem is with you until you find me Curtis. " He shrugged and winked with his one good eye and that caught me off guard just enough to let him get the slip on me.
The little joker ran out across the lot and I lost him behind a tractor trailer load of moon pies. I was alone and in Mississippi so I didn't give him chase ....I was too tired. I slept in my truck and had breakfast the next morning at the truckstop diner and an old black man asked me if I was goin north and wanted to know if I could catch a ride to Jackson Tennesse. I didn't have no reason to say no and this old fella seemed okay.

His name was Junior Green and he had lived most of his life in Tennessee but spent significant time in the delta where he would take gigs as a back up harmonica player for one blues band after another. He looked at the Pro-drive in the back of the truck and sadi he liked them motors . "I seen one of them befo when I was fishin down on de Obion an man dat dude would run lickedy splitt rye on up da channel wether they be no water or nawt". I was curious and said ,"where in the world did you see one of them....they are brand new". He said ," dey is a young dude down there in Humbolt what runs one of dem things like a mad man.......all the brothers is talkin bout him cause he been runnin dem outta all they fishin holes by blastin dat dadblamed thing up the river when dee water is low. "
I said," whats his name and do you think I could meet him?". Junior says," His Name is Tim but he goes by Cutt-Down and dem boys from around here say he is extra hell on dem ducks" ,"I'll meet you up wid him an maybe ya'll go riddin dem boats together even go up to the tygart or the reelfoots".
And so it was .....I was gonna get to meet the mud-motor Guru of west Tennessee.....the man that exposed the surface drive( and himself on several occasions ) to the mid-south and a lot of the upper mid-west.

ol' cutt messing up dem guys fishing

Its getting good now... I take it you finally had a good B.M...

Son of a bitch, this mofo is good. I don't even give a shit if it's true or not.

Tim, I feel privlaged to have had breakfast in Iowa with the "Mudmotor Guru".

anyway, this is good shiat right here