Alright you screw ups...let's hear the best all-time reasons your wife or gf got pissed at you....

Like getting drunk, spilling a beer on her friend's boobs and then taking your shoes off and throwing them on the train tracks while walking through the ghetto. And then throwing up in her car.

mine gets mad when i go to work sometimes and when i stay home she gets mad bc we dont have money go do a bunch of stuff lol

Before we were married my wife had a family reunion and I was going to attend to meet her Mississippi side of the tree. The reunion was on a Saturday and we decided to go see some friends of mine that were playing at the Dixie Tavern the night before.

Well since I was with the band I was drinking for free all night and then her cousin was with us so we started mixing drinks. On the ride home we were rollin through the ghetto and my wife will not put the windows down for me when I've been drinking because I tend to voice my opinion in the wrong places sometimes. Anyway I requested that the window be lowered and she cracked it,I informed her that was not enough she said that was it so I puked all over the inside of her car up and down the window,floor board and the door.

Well T-boo was in the back seat and he got hit with some vomit and he started puking. He in his altered state put his head out the window behind me,at this point she had put the window down, and I puked on T boo's head and neck so he carried all that in the car going to the other side.

I did not make the reunion and she was supposed to take her car and pick up her parents along the way. I spent the next day recovering and cleaning her car. It smelled for days.

There was also the time that I forgot our anniversary, but that was not too bad.
There was the time before we were married that she rear ended me when she saw me with a female in the truck at 0300 and I had told her I was home in bed

My wife gets mad at my jokes....

The other morning I called her " FEMA " ---- she says why are
you calling me that ---- I says cause you are slow to respond
to a desperate and obvious need --- and the results are less
than satisfactory....

What ???

Dorcinda got really mad at me when I shot her pug-dog pudgy in the ass with a .22 for peein on the rug. It didn't kill him or nothin. He don't pee on the rug no more neither.

My wife found a reciept for a rifle I bought in my pocket when she was doin' the laundry... That went over like a turd in a punch bowl.

My wife doesn't get mad. She stays mad. Sometimes she smiles.


Uncle J

my (ex) wife caught me trying to strangle her shitzu after it bit me. the dog barely made it out alive.

When is she not mad at me for some bullshit! I would have to say the maddest she has ever been was the time that she found out about me and her best friend from high school.The friend was a anal fanatic and freak.Just incase anyone is wondering all of this happend before I met the wife.

Fer you youngsters who ain't been married fer 25 years....

Here is some help for those who need some interpretation of what their wife REALLY means when she says these words!! LOL



9 Deadly Words Used by A Woman!



1. Fine: This is the word women used to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the CALM before the STORM! This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare!! not permission!! Don't do it!!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake!

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say "You're welcome". ( I want to add in a clause here-This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot"-that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ...that will bring on "whatever")FYI

8. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying F-YOU!

9. Don't Worry About It, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's Wrong?"...For the woman's response, refer to #3.

There's a lot of truth in what Giga just said.

Mine when i jumped a mud hill at the new orleans little mud ride.. Well on the other side it was pretty dry.. After she got ejected from the back to the front and landed on the bow she was pretty mad.. But i dont have to worry bought her coming on mud rides any more!!

Every year, about a week before duck season ends.

Got drunked up and gave a her new nickname in front of a bunch of friend's----Commi Bitch! She hid my Jeigermeister from me after that. BTW I don't remember givein her that nickname but it has been confirmed by sevral wife's and friend's sayin flower's and chocolate can fix that problem!!!

We were out at a club one night along with several of my wifes friends. It was crowded and we were sitting at a tall table on stools. My wife right next to me. Well someone decided to play the ol rubbin the leg game with me under the table and I just thought it was my wife and didn't pay any attention to it. Well it went on for awhile and I guess that me and the wife both noticed about the same time that it wasn't her. It was her ex-best friend. Needless to say I don't know that I ever truely convinced her that i didn't know it was the friend getting fresh....

I'm the type of person that don't like weddins. Especially if i don't have any relation to the people gettin married. She drug me to someone she works with's daughter's weddin. She was pissed already that i didn't want to go in the first place much less drag them 4 kids of mine there. On the ride i told her we were going as soon as she congrats them after the ceramony,. well reception time comes she wishes them well and wants to have a drink. long story short i yelled, imbarrised her in front of the whole groupe, she cried, i looked like an ass, and didn't get any for a week...lesson learned: should have hammered the free booze and got me some lovin after. Now the guy that got married that day works for me ant we frequently laugh about it.

as for rutene? stuff i should not say everything i'm thinkin right away. I have learned to process my thoughts a bit better before incerting my foot in my mouth.

Duck season is one big long drawn out fight in my house.

Hung over on Mother's Day

She hates March Madness, b/c when we were dating, I told her watching the games with my friends was more important than hanging out with her. Thats stupid

This website and my eagerness for a boat.

My wife got a little pissed when I banged her sister.