A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

"Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your mother caught us behind the couch making love?"

"Yes, I remember." says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when she shoved a shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too." she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."

Bwahahaha

Tapatalk 2

The cop was sitting at a diner and overheard two old folks sitting in the booth behind him. The old man asked his old bride if she remembered where she was? She replied with a lovingly and broken but still excited voice "yes dear, it is where we first made love". The old man says "do you remember where it was performed"? She says "yes dear, it was out back up against the fence." "WELL", he says "wanna go do it again"? Now the old bride is just able to stand up but she does so with great excitement and says "you betcha". At this point the cop is choking with disbelief. Being a cop, he has to investigate and this should be a show. He gives them about 10 minutes to get out back then gets up to go sneak around the corner. He see the old man lifting up the old bride with her up against the fence. They are both hollering at the top of their lungs and writhing in sweat, stomping the ground and lurching like he has never seen people move before. Finally, after what seems to be 30 minutes of love making fury, they both drop to the ground unable to move or speak. The cop rushes over and asks them if they are alright. The old man looks at the old bride and says while panting, I think so. The cop tells the woman he overheard their conversation and plans to relive a moment. He asked if it was as good as the first time? The old bride looks at him and says "yes it was but that fence wasn't electric back then".....

Curl

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
sitting in a used car.

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were
they trying to steal it?

'Heavens no, we bought it.'

'Then why don't you drive it away.'

'We can't drive.'

Then why did you buy it?'


'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed .... so
we're just waiting.

Curl

Old man and old lady sitting on the front porch rocking in their rocking chairs watching the sun go down. The old lady gets up hobbles over to the old man and knocks the heck outta him with her cane.

The old man asks, "Whatcha go an' do that fer?"

The old lady replies, "That's for having such a short pecker all these years!"

They go back to rocking. A few minutes pass, the man gets up, goes over and knocks the snot outta the old lady, rolling her off the porch.

Old lady crawls back up to her chair and asks, "What the heck did you go and do that for?"

Old man says, "That was for knowing the difference!"