Chuck Norris likes meat so rare that he only eats unicorns.

he counted to infinity.................twice
he can gargle peanut butter

Gargle peanut butter.... I think that is one of the best I've heard.

he gave mona lisa that smile, he can slam a revolving door

His tears cure cancer. Unfortunately he has never cried

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, chuck Norris's heart is not nearly stupid enough to attack chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, it's defends are known as jeraffes
Chuck Norris once took a Viagra and walked down the street... There where no survivors.

Chuck Norris failed recess, because he doesn't play games. Lol.

Chuck Norris once peed in a semi trucks fuel tank as a joke...... That truck is now known as Optimus Prime

Chuck Norris has to use special toilet paper ........ 60 Grit

Chuck Norris is so tough he can strangle someone with a cordless phone...

When Yoda met Chuck Norris Yoda said "Your Bitch, I am!"

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

In Texas they was going to name a new bridge chunk Norris but realized no
One would cross chunk Norris

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

If Chuck Norris ordered a sport v. he would have it in the morning.

^^^^ Roflmao!!! Win!

Chuck Norris could make Giga buy a complete GTR package with no flotation, with just one look.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands...

now they're just known as The Islands

Chuck Norris was an only child ...............eventually

Chuck Norris doesn't read he simply stares the book down until he gets the information he wants
Chuck Norris doesn't breath he holds air hostage

Chuck Norris is why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris doesn't hunt because hunting has te probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris once lived on mars. That explains why there is no life form left.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, He waits.

Chuck Norris dosn't due push ups he pushs the earth down.

Chuck Norris has had a Sport V now for a good year or so.

How ya'll think virgin mary got pregnant? Chuck Norris!

When chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris can read lady gaga's poker face.
When chuck Norris looks in the mirror it breaks. Not cuz he's ugly but because even a mirror knows not to get between chuck Norris and chuck Norris.
Ghost sit around campfires and tell chuck Norris stories.
Death had a near chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn the lights off. He turns the darkness on.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father

Chuck norris is so manly,,,he turned Bud Light gay!!!

Nobody jokes about Chuck Norris if they know what's good for them......
There are no Chuck Norris Jokes,
Only Legends

There is no such thing as a handicaped parking spot these spots are reserved for Chuck, he is kind enough to allow the less fortunate to use his spots and the sign is a warning that if chuck finds you parked there and you are not already handicapped you will be.

If you type “Chuck Norris” into the Google search bar and click the I’m Feeling Lucky button, your computer round house kicks you in the face.

I dont see what the big deal is with chuck norris.... If he was so badass he would come to my house and start slamming my head into the kejwhbdhewbf ldcjlcvhb hejbwfhewfewjkdfewidfhlfncj hhhbh bnj njn nnnmn mdklcv dvnhbdnfdnfnnfdkmkmmn nj j kjjmkmksdnmfedk j mkdmlfnwkjld n cfnkbl dvkbnv sdknl