So as I get older and don't play college sports and work out all the time I've noticed my metabolism start to slow down. I'm getting a little heavier, the abs have faded to a jiggly semi round shape, definitely transforming into the dad body style. This is not a problem to me. The problem I have with getting older is I'm no longer a well oiled food processing unit, going #2 gets increasingly more difficult little by little, for the last 2 days I've had unbearable stomach pain and can't get a good poop even if I pray. Before I'd go 5-6 times a day no problem. What are some things you older guys dp to make life better in this category. Fiber supplement, jar of pickled jalapenos? Help a brother out. I'm miserable.

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Dude, really? If something isn't right, go to the doctor. Your body is telling you something is wrong.

You could always drip a drop or two of visine into your coffee. That always makes the leadership shit themselves......

It'll clean you out, then you start from scratch and modify your diet...lol

Hahaha that'd be perfect. Visiting my wife's family this weekend!

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I'm 28 recently had a shitload of shittin problems. Went to the doctor, they thought I had colon cancer. Had a fucking COLONOSCOPY!!!! I've now been diagnosed with IBS.
It sucks.
Always get it checked


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Yer pooper ain't nothin to play around with. I lost a cousin at 34yrs old to colon cancer, the second time she had it. I turn 32 this yr and I'm considering going just to have a look. Id rather be a little embarrassed and have a sore rump for a day or two than dead.

Your body tells you things, you gotta listen. That's not to say run to the doc every time you fart, but if it's concerning you enough to post up your dookie schedule on an Internet forum, that's probably validation enough to have it looked at.

That's a good thought. I don't think about going to the doctor very much but if I don't get any better I'm gonna go. Strange, but I never thought about going to the doctor for stomach problems. You guys are smart

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I have a hard time deciphering if you're retarded or fucking with us.
First it was taking a 2 month old hunting and now didn't think about going to a doctor for physical ailments.
Who do you have working on your cars? A plumber?


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Ok, so far you've told us that your wife can't suk dik, you're a crusader of civil rights, you're wife wants to get a Saturday job, and you can't chit. Just keeping track.

Popeyes and a 12 pack. Problem solved.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

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I will shit every 3 or 4 days. Been doing that for 50 years and no problems. I carry a spare plunger with me everywhere I go.

Eat a cup of yogurt in the mornings. If you really need help get you some metamucil and drink some daily. I shit 2-3 times a day, but that could have something to do with coffee and dip first thing in the morning.

Stick a warm thermometer in there. It works with babies. How old are you again..lol

Eat more vegatables and drink a good cup of black coffee in the morning.

Senokot S - every evening and you will poop right after your morning coffee...

Or the "dreaded apparatus" as a last resort....

Drink water, drink coffee, dip, and eat more fiber. I'm a solid 1-2 times a dayer.

When I deployed to Iraq I couldn't shit for 5 days. I don't know if it was nerves or what. Went to talk to the flight medic and he gave me some laxative that tasted like sprite. Told me drink half a bottle, so of course my buddy dared me to drink the whole bottle, which I did. Next morning I couldn't walk 10ft without having to shit. Man, the good ole days.....

You're way too young to be havin shittin troubles

If you really want to get cleaned out go get you a small bottle of Magnesium Citrate and drink up. Stay near the toilet and get ready. It will clean you out good. This is probably what mudxxed took.

That's probably what it was. Good luck!!!! Hahahaha

Eat more vegetables and lean meat.


I have no problem shitting. I just have a problem of when it hits me I gotta poop right then and there not to shit myself

So apparently my body's been battling a virus the last few days and It just really hit me hard when we were out to lunch with my wife's friend. I hurled violently and wasted a good meal. Nearly destroyed my unders. We're having a BBQ now and I'm confined to the shitter in her dad's house. I realize this is funny if you ain't me.
I appreciate every ones input. Turns out I've just been old fashion sick and my body was waiting for the worst time to just let loose.
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Id give it a few more days to let yourself regulate again before you go diagnosing.... You could probably stand a change in your diet all together. Id consider it either way.

Dang...slow day on MMT.

I'm waiting dean.

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dean that's why I drive. My friends and I all fart in each others presence. The women are used to it.

Update: I made it. Plunger came in handy.

Didn't have to break out the chain saw and chop it up?

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There are so many wtf's in this thread. Probably the funniest one I've read on here in awhile lol